On trust and control
We don’t trust God because he’s in control.
Let me say that again.
Control is not a function of trust.
When circumstances shake us and, in the face of unknowns, we fumble our grasp of God-given agency, we can be unreasonably hard on ourselves. For years I called myself a slow learner. A control freak. Eventually, I began to wonder if I was just too stupid.
I grew up believing God’s sovereignty demanded trust, but I failed to understand why the opposite of control is not trust. Trust is not a hard-wired instinct within the human psyche in the face of power. Not even infinite power. Trust is a process, developed within relationship, and requires a profound confidence in the goodness of the one wielding the power.
You cannot bully someone into trust. You can, however, bully someone into performative obedience.
The opposite of trust is performative obedience. Performative obedience holds to strict rules of dos and don’ts, and an ongoing demonstration of adherence to these rules, not only for God’s benefit, but for the benefit of others, and the shaky assurance of our own. Through performative obedience, we can measure our faith through good works seeking to manipulate the one who holds the power: God.
If I pray for peace, but not a baby, God will surely grant me the baby due to the ‘rightness’ of my prayers.
If I pray not for miracle healing but something less demanding, surely God will grant me both.
If I don’t ask for too much, follow the rules, and keep my face clean, the sovereignty of God will play out in my favour.
These examples do not exhibit trust but, rather, anxiety masquerading as obedience.
Performative obedience requires a transactional relationship with a Sovereign God. It is less concerned about the goodness of God and exclusively concerned with his power.
The phrase ‘God is good’ is probably one of the most used phrases in the church; not, primarily, because it’s true (it is), but because we recognize its transactional power in our lives. I can offer lip service to a good God and still not believe his goodness as an invitation into his presence.
Trust is not transactional. Yes, it measures past performance to indicate future performance, but trust relies on the inherent kindness of the one I trust. God’s power and sovereignty is nothing less than menacing danger if it is not infinitely bound with his goodness, which means if I am to find rest in his arms, it is not, firstly, because he is powerful, but because he is good.
He is both, to be sure. But trust will lean into goodness before it falls toward power.
I used to pray, “I trust you God, because you are in control.” It was a lie. Lie upon lie upon lie. I believed him capricious and unpredictable. His power roused danger and fear within me, and there was no trust in me for him. I spoke the words and they meant nothing.
When I began to pray, “I want to trust you because you are good” something shifted.
I acknowledged the shakiness of my trust.
I believed his goodness.
In doing so, I sought to draw near without manipulating an outcome.
Control seeks the manipulation of a circumstance.
Trust settles in the demonstration of known kindness.
God is not seeking to bully you toward trust.
He is inviting you to find his goodness as evidence of his trustworthiness.
